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Judy Ann Lockwood

Judy Ann Lockwood
I am also called SugarBear...Juju.. and Mom

Our Special Son... Aaron Michael

Our Special Son... Aaron Michael
I do not know what I would do without him!

Praying that SOMEDAY people will understand special Kids!

Praying that SOMEDAY people will understand special Kids!

Friday, August 15, 2008

ERGH This story upset me...Disruptive behavior by Autistic kids stirs furor








When I read this story I was more than a little upset. I know MANY MANY people do not understand Autism and how it affects some of our children. But you know the one place you feel you could get some support you would think would be from a church. Well it so often it not true. Many times churches turn their backs on helping families with special kids. Sad but true and so very often if a child is in a wheelchair they are accepted... but one that is not what we would call OF THE NORM they are banished and not accepted or maybe even told at times they need to have a better CHRISTIAN ATTITUDE (oh do not even go there) those who feel a child with Autism needs a better CHRISTIAN ATTITUDE best be on their knees at the alter asking God for forgiveness. Over the years Aaron has been upset MORE THAN ONCE believe me over the way he has been treated or should say mistreated and ostracized from church outings, camps, retreats etc. It is time as Christians people need to stand up and take notice not ALL CHILDREN are what you would call "NORMAL" they cannot act the way some other kids do and quite honestly they should NOT BE EXPECTED to either. (ALSO what is normal??? it is a setting on my washer and dryer)....

People who continue to ignore the issues of a special child I really feel they should stop and examine their own heart and their relationship with our Lord.

Autistic children have feelings just like any other child and they must be dealt with on a different level than other kids. It is time our churches and our communities learn to deal with SPECIAL KIDS. If everyone could have the frame of mind and big hearts that the YEARSLEY FAMILY has for special kids the world would be a much better place. All I can say is GOING TO CHURCH DOES NOT MAKE YOU A CHRISTIAN ANYMORE THAN GOING IN THE GARAGE MAKES YOU A CAR.....



Like I said reading this story really upset me.. !!!!!!!!





When a 13-year-old Minnesota boy was banned from church after parishioners complained about his behavior, it exposed a painful truth so politically incorrect that some people feel guilty just saying it out loud: Some autistic children can be annoying and disruptive in public.
The case of Adam Race and others like him has laid bare conflicted feelings — among both parents of these children and other people — over autistic youngsters in public places. And it has stirred debate over how much consideration one side owes the other.

In the case of Adam Race, a judge agreed with a priest in Bertha, Minn., who said the 225-pound teenager was disruptive and dangerous, and upheld a restraining order barring him from services. The priest said Adam spit, wet his pants, made loud noises and nearly ran over people while bolting from the church after services.
Carol Race, Adam's mother, said the congregation's claims were exaggerated. But in a letter to the Star Tribune of Minneapolis, JoAnn Brinda of Crystal, Minn., said the Race family should have shown more consideration for others.
"I don't understand why families that have a challenged child who becomes loud and abusive remain at a service where all participants are quiet and contemplative most of the time," Brinda wrote.
Susan Duclos of Peoria, Ariz., who writes the conservative Wake Up America blog, called the Race story a "horrible situation all around."
"I have known a few people over my lifetime who have had to deal with autism with their children," Duclos said. "It's as frustrating for them as it is for the public."
Similar cases involving people with autism have played out in public recently. A California man was kicked out of a health club for screaming. A North Carolina boy was taken off a plane before takeoff after having a meltdown. A South Carolina girl was ordered out of a restaurant by the town's police chief for crying.

Syndicated radio talk show host Michael Savage added to the furor last month when he charged that doctors and drug companies are overdiagnosing autism, and said, "I'll tell you what autism is: In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out." Several major companies pulled their advertising from Savage's show.
Lisa Jo Rudy, who is the mother of an autistic child and writes and consults on autism, said Savage's words were "truly nasty and hurtful." At the same time, Rudy said the talk show host has raised awareness of some of the frustrations of parents of autistic children and the wider public, too.

Rudy said there are times when parents should not put their children in situations where they may be disruptive. "Some of these stories really are the ones where the general public can absolutely identify with the other side of the story," Rudy said.

Jason Goldtrap of Davenport, Fla., said too many people diagnosed with autism are out and about in public because of political correctness. Goldtrap, 40, has two nephews, ages 3 and 21, with autism, and said the older one has become so violent at times that the police have been called.
"I certainly sympathize with all the families who are in this situation," Goldtrap said. "But when we got away from the concept of institutionalization in America, we lost an important element of trying to maintain civility. There is a place for mental institutions."

Goldtrap added: "If it were up to me, he would be in an institution. My brother doesn't agree, and that's his prerogative." He declined to identify his brother, saying, "I don't want to start another argument."
Autism is a mental disorder that inhibits a person's ability to communicate and can include a host of complications. It varies widely in its severity. Some people are well-behaved; others are prone to outbursts or self-abusive behavior such as biting or head-banging.
A recent study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that one out of every 150 U.S. children over the age of 8 is autistic or suffers from a related disorder. About 560,000 Americans under 21 are believed to have autism.
Many parents say that their autistic children are largely misunderstood, that they can't help it when they act up, and that they need interaction with the public.
Barbara Coppo, whose 30-year-old son, Kenny, was banned from a Vallejo, Calif., health club for screaming, said Americans need to learn about living with autistic children.
"Autism may frighten people because so little is known about the disorder," said Coppo, who wrote a book about her son. "The cause has not been scientifically proven and the victims often act in ways society doesn't understand."
However, some parents wonder how much understanding can be gained in grocery stores, churches or other public places.
Nikki Wilmoth-Williams of Rockport, Texas, said certain high-traffic areas are off-limits for her autistic 14-year-old son, Zach."I'm an advocate for my child, but we all have to play on the same playground," she said. "It's not about clearing the playground so my child can be on it."






Rudy advises parents of autistic children to arrange forays out in public with care, which may mean five minutes in the grocery store instead of 45 minutes.

"Certainly there are cranky people in this world. If a mother glares at your child for something that's really pretty harmless, quite honestly that's her problem," Rudy said. "But if your child is going to have a meltdown, I don't think it's in anybody's best interest to bring the child along."

Joe Schmitt, a Minneapolis lawyer who has often defended employers against claims they discriminated against disabled employees, said people who object to certain accommodations may be viewed as insensitive to those with autism or other disabilities.
"They usually really do care, but they have to weigh the considerations of others," Schmitt said.
Schmitt said church officials in Minnesota knew they would be criticized for banning Adam, but took action after the two sides failed to arrive at a compromise.
"I'm not saying they were right," Schmitt said of the church. "But I would disagree with anybody who thinks they did that casually or it wasn't important to them."
Sandy Boyles, whose 18-year-old son, Walter, is autistic, said that when she began attending First Reformed Church in New Brunswick, N.J., she didn't bring him along, because in other churches he would run up and down the aisles screeching.
"She was afraid of being ostracized. I told her, 'So what? Bring him anyway,'" the Rev. Susan Kramer-Mills said.
Eventually, the small congregation revised its services to Walter's liking. Worship used to start softly and build to a crescendo. Now, it starts with more noise.
"I have to be careful because sometimes he'll do a fast movement or run," Boyles said. "But the other members aren't as scared as I am."



So after reading this what really upset me was too that a JUDGE would allow a restraining order against one of GOD'S SPECIAL CHILDREN from attending worship services. GOD HELP OUR COUNTRY....!!!!!!! This is who we have judging our country.. SCARY very very SCARY......

I think some people really need to read this book....

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Judy this upset me so much when I read it in the paper today I thought of you immediately and the struggles you have endured because of your precious Aaron. Loved your quote about Christians and the Garage very true. Aaron is so blessed to have you for his mother someone who will stand up for him when he cannot stand up for himself. I totally agree with all you have said.

Anonymous said...

All I can reply is yes God help our country and the simple minded people. You would think people who attend church would be a bit more loving and have an awareness. This is very sad Judy thank you for sharing it with me. God gave Aaron to you for a reason he knew you would love him and protect him from these kind of people as much as you could. So sad for this young man in Minn.

Anonymous said...

Hi I can understand the people in the church wanting a quiet place to come and worship I totally understand that but what about the child's parents don't they also deserve a place to worship as well as this child needing worship time? Why wasn't there a room they could set up for this child and others like him? This makes no sense to me whatsoever. People want things their way all the time and do not stop and think about others it is very sad and upsetting and I can understand your feelings on this totally. I am sure Judy your church has made accomadations for Aaron and his disabilities. So if your church can handle a child with Autism why can't others. What kind of classes and church does your church do for him? Maybe you need to somehow contact people in higher places and be an advocate on what has worked in your church and all they have done for him. I know you are always busy in your church doing something or planning something. Everytime I check in on you and email you are making centerpieces or programs or planning something. You are one busy mom for sure. I am going to speak to my church about this on Sunday evening and ask them to seriously consider an outreach for special children in our neighborhood you have laid this on my heart. Thank you

Anonymous said...

Judy,
Lordy Have Mercy on those people. You mean a Church got this on a CHILD? I sure would not attend that type of Church then. As I have been to many Churches and when I walk in and everyone is dressed in fine clothes. I do find it alittle Nerving as to when someone will come up to me to say Hey you need to go to the Church down the street. I do not wear Dresses so Many Churches state ALL Women are to wear Dresses.
One thing I believe in is God said Come as you are. I do not attend Church a lot but I know I would rather attend a Church which sees people as they are and does not care what you wear or what type of car you have. Excepts everyone as God's child.
Keep your Voice loud and Proud. :-).
Robbin

Anonymous said...

Hi,
These people still feel the special needs need to kept out of sight.out of mind and not allowed to speak.
I cannot tolerated any form of discrimination epically the special needs. So what if they make noise in the house of the lord! Are they not one of his children? Does he love these children..you bet he does. I feel that he is looking down on these clowns shaking his head..where did I go wrong? Quite frankly these people
feel that they live in a normal world. I have one big question...What is normal? Each of us were not born
perfect. When we made out entrance we did not cry right off. That minute lack of oxygen set the stage
for what we would be. There only perfect birth was the Gentleman up stairs. Everyone regardless of their
religion has the right to be in church of their choice. It seems strange that here there are groups who
have started churches for the homeless. Something does not seem right. Why? I would like to see churches that embrace the special needs of any degree and race.
For those who turned their nose up at this young man..you are not a good Christian. Shame on you. My wish for you is that in your gene pool that you do not have a gene that produces a child that is special needs.
I have no doubt in my mind that,they would be the ones to put this special person away in a state school.
You go Lady tell them how the cow ate the cabbage!!!!!

Special Needs Children and Adults Rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa Jo Rudy said...

Just FYI, from what I understand the church and pastor in MN actually DID offer a variety of worship options to this particular mom and son. For her own reasons, the mom chose not to accept those options, but rather to insist that her son should be included in the sanctuary despite his behavior.

Of course, you may feel that he should be included in the general worship service no matter what - but I wanted to be sure you knew that the church wasn't just banishing everyone who differs from the norm!

Best,

Lisa Rudy
www.autism.about.com

Anonymous said...

I remember when this originally came out a few months ago. I thought the church would lose the restraining order. I do not take my son to church b/c he can not be quiet, ever. He talks non-stop. But they allow him to go, I just choose to not attend sacrament, and sometimes we attend the other classes for children, where you expect kids to talk. He likes it when they have fun things to do, like picnics and dances and halloween trunk or treat.

Anonymous said...

it is so sad that a child can not attend church because they cant be quite. what about the kids in church who have nothing wrong with them and they are still not quite.it still breaks my heart that aaron gets left out of things at church why not make accomidations for him instead they would rather hurt his feeling and give him dirty looks i think they should remember the part in the bible about judgeing others.i pray one day everyone who has caused him pain because he is one of GODS SPECIAL KIDS that they have to answer for it one day.
love ya kimmi

Anonymous said...

HI JUDY,
YOU HAVE EVERYY RIGHT AND I AM WITH YOU ON THE SOAP BOX. IT WAS LIKE THEY WOULD NOT SEND A BUS WITH A LIFT AND I COULDN'T PICK UP DUANE SINCE I HAD FIRST HEART SURGERY SO MICKEY HAD TO LIFT HIM AND THEY WOULDN'T TAKE HIS CHAIR HE HAD TO USE ONE AT SCHOOL THAT DID NOT FIT HIS NEED. I GOT AN ARTICLE IN RIVERSIDE PAPER BUT THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WHILE HE WAS IN SCHOOL.
I AM WITH YOU ON THE PROFESS SO CHRISTIANS IF THEY HAD ANY LOVE FOR GOD THEY WOULD WALK IN YOUR SHOES JUST FOR A FEW STEPS AND KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU. WHEN WILL OUR KIND OF CHURCHES START DOING THAT. I WILL RAISE ROOF WHEN THEY DO.
LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH AND LOVE AARON EVEN WE HAVE NOT LIVED CLOSE TO YOU TO BE NEAR AND GIVE A HELPING HAND. BUT OUR PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND MIKE AND AARON.
WE LOVE YOU ALL.

Anonymous said...

This is completely appalling and saddens me deeply. I guess I know what I'll be praying for when I take my two little autistic guys to church this morning.

Anonymous said...

Judy have you ever thought about going to Washington and voicing your opionion to people in higher places about your thoughts and concerns about Autism? I have read many of your posts, emails, blogs etc over the years. I have heard from many moms on the autism forums what a HUGE help you have been as an advocate for their children, helping the parents with IEPS and 504 plans. You have your heart and soul into helping others. It is said at times about men that he was the right man for the job. Well LADY you are the RIGHT LADY FOR THE JOB I feel. I am proud to call you FRIEND. And I pray for you and Aaron and your family daily. I know the heartaches and struggles you go through, yet you keep on keeping on. You have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met. God does not make mistakes and he sure knew how to pick Aaron's Mom for sure.
Keep up the wonderful work you are doing for all the Special Kids out there. God Bless

Penny Bowhay said...

Tina took the words right out of my fingertips. (LOL!)

You would make the perfect advocate and spokesperson because, in addition to making great strides for autism, you would foster and engender LOVE for ALL the Special Kids in the world. I know this is true because you sparked the fire of love for Special Kids in me!

May God richly bless you beyond your expectations for all that you are doing for the very special people in this world that HE created.

My Love, Prayers & Hugs,
Penny